Music Therapy and Internal Family Systems (IFS)
How these methods combine to help you free your voice
You are struggling with vocal tension but you want to sing with freedom. What you don’t know is that there is a part of you trying to protect your voice. This part - let’s call her Cautious Cara - got the message when you were younger that you are not supposed to tell the truth. Cara has been holding back the family secrets and she lives inside of your throat. When Cara gets scared that you will spontaneously say the wrong thing, she creates a lump in your throat. Singing - the ultimate act self-expression - can feel threatening to her.
You reassure Cara that it is safe now to speak the truth. She responds by expressing the concern that if she lets go, another part of you known as Rebellious Rebecca will break loose and tell everyone in your family to f*%& off.
Caution and rebellion arise in tandem. It makes sense that when one part of you is holding back, you have an opposing part that resists this restriction. Rebellious Rebecca wants to go on a rampage and curse out everybody that hurt her. This is how she learned to protect you - by fighting back.
Both of these parts are trying to help you but they have opposite strategies that aren’t always in your best interest. They need help coming to a truce so you can free your voice.
Cautious Cara time travels to a memory where she was sworn to secrecy by her mother. She realizes that in that moment she took on the belief that she doesn’t have a right a voice. She imagines telling your mother in a commanding tone that she will not be silenced and she visualizes the lump inside of her throat dissolving into thin air. Cara invites in the quality of boldness and suddenly her voice gets louder. Then she chooses a song that represents what she wants to express. She selects “You’re So Vain” and sings it while imagining that she is in a karaoke bar, telling off your narcissistic mother and inspiring the crowd.
After this musical IFS unburdening, your parts get new roles to help you with your goal of singing. The role they choose is the OPPOSITE. The part formerly known as Cautious Cara, fresh off of her karaoke breakthrough, now wants to be known as “Courageous Carol.” She helps you open up and be sassy, and improvise lyrics based on how you are feeling. The rebellious part, now referred to as “Righteous Rebecca,” helps you rebel in a new way - by giving you the permission to remain silent when family members are trying to provoke you.
Now that these parts are in collaboration, you can choose how honest or creatively self-expressed you want to be. No more holding back, just joyful singing. For more info on how IFS works, please visit my IFS therapy model overview.